Meaning of Loneliness
by ashez2ashes
Summary: A short fic where Ryouga thinks about his life on one cold and lonely night. Oneshot.


THE MEANING OF LONELINESS  
  
_by   
ashes2ashes_

  


> > > A lone man stood on a hilltop. It was a spectacular view. An endless sea of trees spread for miles and miles. The stars, far from the street lamps of the city, shown like individual Chinese lanterns across the black carpet of night. Somewhere an owl hooted. Light dew had settled on the foliage making the air slightly damp. A cool breeze blew through the young man's hair. His head was downcast; his eyes unseeing the beauty before him. 
>>> 
>>> ~Show me the meaning of being lonely~
>>> 
>>> The young man tucked a photograph into his backpack. His head raised and lifted to gaze at the stars. Many people would remark of the beauty of the night sky but not this man. He did not see the age-old constellations, or brilliant balls of fire from far away galaxies. All he saw was a girl's face....
>>> 
>>> ~So many words for the broken heart~
>>> 
>>> _Why does she love him? Why? He's mean to her. She deserves someone better than him. Someone that will protect her and treat her with respect, someone that will comfort her......_
>>> 
>>> ~It's hard to see in a crimson love  
So hard to breathe~
>>> 
>>> _If only I could show you how I really care._ The wind picked up and the man wrapped his arms around himself and attempted to keep warm. It worked a little. Well, for his physical body anyway.
>>> 
>>> _I always fall apart when she's around. Why can't I be dashing? And romantic? Why do I have to be such a coward!!!_
>>> 
>>> ~Walk with me, and maybe~
>>> 
>>> The young man's mind left the solitude of the hillside. His thoughts drifted away. He saw himself and his love having a picnic in a garden. Flowers of every shape and color filled their surroundings with fragrance. She turned and smiled at him and ONLY him. The expression on her face was for only one person,the person that she loved.....
>>> 
>>> ~Wild and free I could feel the sun~
>>> 
>>> The warm sun caressed his face. He turned to his love. The sun behind her highlighted her midnight hair creating a halo. She looked like an angel to him, his angel....
>>> 
>>> ~Your every wish will be done~
>>> 
>>> He gazed into her eyes. Her love shown in them like a beacon of light in the darkness. He would do anything for her. She had to merely ask for the sun and stars and he would give them to her...
>>> 
>>> ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
>>> 
>>> A branch snapped and the man whirled around. His eyes searched the dark thicket. A soft wind blew his dark locks into his face. His hand reached up and absently brushed them away. He heard no sound but the beating of his own heart. It was silly to think that anyone would be here. There wasn't a soul for miles. No one had any reason to be out here in the wilderness alone...
>>> 
>>> ~Tell me why I can't be there where you are~
>>> 
>>> _If only I could be with her right now! Why does God hate me so? Why am I doomed to wander for eternity alone?? I've never done anything to deserve this.... _
>>> 
>>> ~There's something missing in my heart~ 
>>> 
>>> _If only I could see her face. _
>>> 
>>> The man brought a hand to his chest. His hand clinched tightly and a trickle of blood ran down his palm. His eyes glazed over for a moment but no tears fell.
>>> 
>>> _I'll never be whole again. Was I ever whole? I fill like someone has ripped a piece of my heart out. Will It ever stop hurting?_
>>> 
>>> ~Life goes on as it never ends~
>>> 
>>> _Every day is the same. The same lonely solitary existence. I've been alone all my life. My parents were lost, in more ways than one. I barely know them. Do they ever think of me? Everyday is a struggle for food and a place to sleep. The notion of home is alien to me. Or at least it was, until she came along and cared if I lived or died...._
>>> 
>>> ~Eyes of stone observe the trends  
They never say forever gaze upon me~
>>> 
>>> _Will she ever look at me the way she does **him**? If only she would,just once... She stays by his side, and he treats her like dirt. It's all **HIS FAULT**. How dare he!!! He doesn't appreciate what he has! He doesn't care. Everything comes so easy for him. He has everything I could ever wish for and he **doesn't care......** I've always been faithful, and honest....._
>>> 
>>> ~Guilty roads to an endless love.   
There's no control~
>>> 
>>> _HONESTY _
>>> 
>>> The man's face cringed as the thought occurred to him. He squeezed his eyes shut and tryed to block out the thought but it was too late. Guilty washed over him like a wave. He hadn't been honest with her. He had deceived her, and _still_ was deceiving her. He hadn't done it intentionally, not at first anyway. She had shown so much kindness to him; a man that was not accustomed to anyone caring for him. He had become addicted to it almost like a drug.
>>> 
>>> ~There's nowhere to run  
I have no place to go~
>>> 
>>> The man let out a long sigh. Some of the frustration he had acquired on his journey fell from his shoulders. He slid to the dew covered ground. The large backpack slid off his exhausted shoulders. He reached into the folds of his pack once again and pulled out her photo. The edges were dull from worn and overuse. It was the only photo he had.
>>> 
>>> ~Surrender my heart, body, and soul~
>>> 
>>> The young man gazed up at the night sky. Her face smiled back at him across the distance. It helped to know that at least she was looking at the same stars. His tired hands wrapped around the worn photo and waited for daybreak. 
>>> 
>>> ~You are missing in my heart~
>>> 
>>> "Oh Akane..............."


End file.
